She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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