I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
