i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
