we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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