no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My vagina just recognized that song.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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