i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
