so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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