but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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