we're blogging at a bar
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
