I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize