I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Randomize
