Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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