He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
false alarm. still invincible.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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