I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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