How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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