you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
