Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
