apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
