filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
A+ Viking dick
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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