OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
i think my cat just said my name.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
