he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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