She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
