I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
