nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
