i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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