Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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