It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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