So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
