get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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