so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
