i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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