How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize