She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
