i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
