You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
