batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
50% drunk capacity currently
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
