During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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