New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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