i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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