So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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