why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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