i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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