I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
