Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My life is pants optional.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
