so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
