Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
