I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
