ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
