Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
