**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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