Just fell off a train. Bad.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
