upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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