Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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