So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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