so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
