Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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