did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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